The Little Monster Inside of Me

I'm working on my next book, which is a humor/memoir about medical school and residency.  Some of its funny, some of its sad, and some of its silly.  Here's a poem that I wrote for the book, enjoy!

The Little Monster Inside of Me

There’s a little monster inside of me

He lives a funny life

He’s been places you may never see

Unless you wield a surgeon’s knife.

He slips down my gallbladder like a waterslide

My stomach cushions his fall

He burrows in the pile of small bowel to hide

And bats at my appendix like a whiffle ball

He dances to my heartbeat

And my aorta launches him like a trampoline

He lands on my kidney with both his feet

And wiggles down next to my spleen

He’ll fight infections if he’s done playing for the day

With sword and shield he’ll charge

“You foolhardy intruders will have to pay,

No foreingers allowed, small or large!”

He’s my inner child

Injecting fun into my veins

His playground is strange and wild

Free from all of life’s little pains

He’s all of my vices

When I smoke or drink too long

He the one who pays the prices

While singing his shanty song

When a surgeons knife unroofs his house

He hides behind my bladder

He stays as quiet as a mouse

Til alone again, climbs my uterus like a ladder

It’s not my fault when things go wrong

The monster must be scheming

Distracting my hands with his song

Pulling my mind into his dreamings

Blame the monster inside me

If I quiver or quake

Blame the monster inside me

If my nervous hands shake.

Blame the monster inside me

When I falter or fail-

But you’ll never catch the monster

Even if you see the tip of his tail

He’s crafty and sly

He knows where to hide

I will never say goodbye

To my little monster inside