Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Nephew Equation

There's gotta be some mathematical formula which dictates how often you should visit your nieces/nephews based on (1) how far away you live from them (2) their age and (3) the amount of disposable income/time you have available to visit them.  Whatever the equation is- I definitly hit the point last weekend where I HAD to see my nephew.  He's 10 months old, it's an 8 hour drive, and I have no free money or time... but still the Nephew Equation made it clear that I had to see that kid.

SO WORTH IT!!!  HE IS SOOOOOO CUTE!!!  Unfortunatly, my digital camera battery was dead, so I couldn't take any pictures of him.  So I will proceed to paint you a mental picture to help you understand how cute he is- imagine the cutest 10 month old in the world, now add a cute bunny to your mental picture, now add some really cute kittens, and then multiply all that cuteness times a million.  That's about how cute his left toe is.  If you don't believe me- looks at my sister's blog.  CUTE.

Anyway, on my 16+ hours of driving to DC and back last weekend, I traveled through a lot of states, and I paid a lot of tolls.  I've come up with some suggestions for what those states should do with my tolls-

Maryland, I paid you $7 each way.  Please use that money to offer a driving class to all of your residents entitled "Left Lane=Fast, Right Lane= Slow".    They all seem to have gotten confused on this point, driving 55mph in the left lane, and they could all use a refresher course.

Delaware, I paid you $5 each way- but I was only in your state for 5 minutes.  Please use my money to buy some land from surrounding states and make yourself larger.  This is coming from someone who lives in Rhode Island-  your state is embarrissingly small.   Alternatively, you could use my money to pave your roads in gold.  Gold-paved roads would acutally be worth paying $1/minute to drive on.  Your current roads were definitly not worth $1/minute.

New Jersey, I paid you $9 each way.  And you deserved it!! Three lanes highways, 80+mph the whole way!  New Jersey turnpike, I love you.  Please use my money to buy yourself an ice cream cone.


  1. Man, I don't know why I didn't take any pictures! I feel bad about that. You let me knwo when you get the equation figured out! And I'm glad you made a plan to fix the highways. Thanks for coming!

  2. As Finley gets older, you will know how often you need to see him - often enough that he doesn't forget you between visits. I am going to see my nieces and nephews this weekend. It is awesome because if Gage is around he will run to the door and yell, "Aunt Tara!" (he's 5) I am crossing my fingers his sister, Gwyn still remembers me. (She's only 1.5)